I feel that something went wrong, is going wrong, is going to go wrong.
Its that feeling that you get at the pit of your stomach that in one way or another, something is happening that would directly or indirectly affect you. Its that sense of danger, of impending doom that's currently cast a shadow over my grim existence. You know that feeling?

That suddenly, something is moving behind you, and you feel helpless, and you feel that you can't do anything about it but to just watch it unfold and then crush you beneath its insurmountable weight.

I'm not being emo.

I just feel that something is going wrong, or is about to. Or if I didn't notice it, something went wrong. Whether it was something I did, or somebody else did. Things are going to go to shit.

That's what also prompted me to cut short the event today. And to go home earlier than was necessary. Because something is bugging me.

And then there's THAT feeling. That feeling that suddenly you are apart from yourself, floating somewhere above you, and everything is a small galaxy of stuff that neither concern you nor a part of you. That a little more and you'll be separate from your body, never to return. That the world has turned into a small marble of despair, and you're looking out over the precipice and wondering what that hapless little jad is doing.

I feel disassociated from myself.

Something terrible has happened. And I intend to find out. Because I can't keep feeling this way. This sucks. I've felt this feeling numerous times and each time something did happen. So I hope those were just flukes. Flukes that happen too much.

I hate this...

Ok guys, round up lang.

I need to interview a psychologist. Can you guys refer anybody?
And... maybe a dude or two in a long distance relationship. AH! Can I interview volty?

Oh. Alam ko naman yung IBA jan naghahanap ng trabaho, so here, may rundown ako dito:

Editorial Assistant: Preview/Candy
Fashion and Beauty Assistant: Ok!

Nilagay ko lang yung mga sa tingin ko interesante dun sa IBA jan. Sabihin nyo lang kung gusto nyo ng referral. ~_~

Ok, I just adopted (yeah, that's right.) a stray cat. To be precise: A pure white stray kitten that's around 3 weeks old at least. Right now, it's sleeping curled up nestling on my feet (that means I can't move or I'll disturb the little thing).

Now what I need: help?

Ahahaha... but seriously. I have a lot of strays at home and they may have taken over the house, but mostly they're just strays that go in and out of the house at will. This one is following me everywhere and cries when I leave it alone inside the room.

So yeah. I looked around the intarnetz and it told me to feed it. But damn man. It's the freaking middle of the night! XD In anycase, the little thing is too tired to eat, so it just curled up and slept. (It looked really woozy before it slept too. Kinda like me when I'm missing too much sleep. You know how I look right guys?)

Anyway. There. I guess I don't really exactly need anything, but suggestions are fine.

By the way, I named the kitten Shirou.

ITS NOT LETTING ME SLEEP! XD Ehehehe...

@_@
I can't find Gakuen Alice's Volume 5! *dies*

http://www.thebigview.com/pastlife/

Your past life diagnosis:

---

I don't know how you feel about it, but you were male in your last earthly incarnation.You were born somewhere in the territory of modern Austria around the year 1550. Your profession was that of a chemist, alchemist or poison manufacturer.

---

Your brief psychological profile in your past life:
You always liked to travel and to investigate. You could have been a detective or a spy.

---

The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation:
Your lesson is to conquer jealousy and anger in yourself and then in those who will select you as their guide. You should understand that these weaknesses are caused by fear and self-regret.

---

Do you remember now?

I just called tita badet and she told me that Lucky's doing a little better, she's moving a little na. But that doesn't mean she's in the clear. Please continue to pray with us so that Lucky will get better. Thanks guys for all the support. 

Guys. Lucky is in the hospital right now. As far as I know it happened on my birthday and that half of her body is paralyzed. Probably because of her aneurysm. She or her mother texted me early morning of August 1 and I've been trying to call forever.

I tried calling their house and thankfully their housemate, Tita Digna answered the phone. She told me what she knew and I'm scared.

I can't breathe and I'm shaking. What do I do?

I'm supposed to be older now. I little bit wiser. A little bit more mature. But I'm not so sure about that. Sure I've gone through a lot in these 18 years (yeah...23...fine). But I think my growth as a person is still just crawling along at the pace its been going at for like...forever.

It's amazing (at least to me. Bawal humirit) to think that the little kid that once wondered about living in the moon while gazing at the stars would become this guy (yun yun eh! KABOOM!). A dude who takes pride in not letting himself be defeated by the world--still clinging to child-like fancies. Adventure-hungry and simplistic. I love being myself right now and though I wish things could be better on all aspects of my life, I feel that overall, I think I did a good job surviving and living enough up to this point.

Life may not be so kind, but at least I have all these people around me who make it all a bit more interesting. Thanks guys. and I love you all (though some more than others). Ehehehe...

Special thanks:
Mae for making my heart go *doki doki*
R for all the love
Jemi for being the idiot brother who cares
Goy for the randomness and the camaraderie
Memi for being the supah mom that you are

Mer for the gheyness
Carlita for the kabaklaan
Honcho for the kasabugan
Ali for the evil pokes (they're not invisible yet!)
Rapie for the marvelous chuvanes~

To all the others:
I may not have been able to mention you specifically, but you know everybody has that niche in this empty rotten blackened heart of mine. Maraming salamat sa memories... gawa pa tayo ng marami.

THE MEN'S HEALTH MIRACLE RUN!

Yes folks, we're being really nice. It's like adding a few more pogi points for our souls. You get to run from rampaging rabid wolves while helping save the lives of sad little children. No seriously, We're having an event on August 17. It's a charity event where the goal is to reach an accumulated 10,000km from all participants in a 10km fun run.

Proceeds go to the Kapuso foundation. So it's a worthy cause. And healthy too!

Save your soul (which is, in itself, a miracle) and join us ha!

http://www.menshealth.com.ph/miraclerun/index.html

I need rice saving tips. Now.
Give me all you got guys!

Ok, right now, I'm officially depressed.
No, not because Lucky is leaving next week, or the fact that I have a deadline looming, or My net is down at home. Oddly enough its, about a really simple thing.

I miss drawing.

I know its easy to go back to. I know that I've been neglecting it for so long. I know that I can just make doodles and I'll be happy. But really drawing—really taking the time to look at a piece of paper and let my hand go wild. Its been so long since I did that. Or actually CG something. I've looked at deviantart again and browsed through pages and pages of artwork. Both literary and visual. And I can't help but feel down. It's been a long time since I wrote one of my stories too.

When I get home, I'm going to drag my glass table to my bedside and FACKING DRAW.

"A man wanted to get into his work building, but he had
forgotten his pin-code. However, he did remember five clues..

These are what those clues were:

· The fifth number plus the third number equals 14.

· The fourth number is one more than the second number.

· The first number is one less than twice the second
number.

· The second number plus the third number equals 10.

· The sum of all five numbers is 30.

What were the five numbers and in what order?"

The answer unlocks the attachment below!

If you manage to open the file, write your name on the list
inside.

shet... drama ko kahapon.

In other news: Smart is broken. Yes, I have no internet at home. And No, I'm not invisible. I'm actually not there. I'm going to be switching to PLDT. Hopefully, they call me one of these days. SHET! I hate this... No internet at home!

Can I just lie down and die?

Just because I look like a teenager/college student doesn't mean you can't NOT give me flyers about condominiums!

True, I won't take them anyway, but can't you at least TRY?
GAH!

Step 1: Put your MP3 player or whatever music player you have on random.

Step 2: Post a line from the first 30 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing the song.

Step 3: Post and let everyone you know guess what song and artist the lines come from.

Step 4: Strike out the songs when someone guesses correctly.

Step 5: No cheating.

----barrier----

pag nasagutan na, may asterisk :)

1. Amoy usok, amoy pawis, mga ale nagwawalis

2. Somewhere weakness is our strength and I'll die searching for it **

3. She's keeping me warm tonight, her kiss sets cold hearts on fire

4. We held the world out in our hands and you ran away

5. Your will not mine, your will not mine, be it done, be it done in your time

6. Parang may eksena, parang may rambol, parang may eksena, parang may rambol**

7. Check the waves crashing down by the sand, feel the world go through my empty hands

8. Maybe if my heart stops beating it won't hurt this much**

9. Maybe he won't find out, but I know, you are the last good thing about this part of town

10. Parang di nagmamadali, ang pagunsad ng sandali, sa kabila ng dagat

11. Meron kaming concerts, teleserye, music videos, anime, sex scandals**

12. This is the last goodbye, I hate to feel the love between us die, but its over, just do this and then I'll go

13. Spent most of last night, dragging this leg through the corpses of my past mistakes**

14. Kami'y nagbabalik, sabik na sabik at dadalhin sa inyong lahat ang pinakamabagsik

15. Can you explain to me, what has become of us, with words released we can never take them back, not even pleading can save us...**

16. I always needed time on my own, I never thought I'd need you there when I cry, and the days feel like years when I'm alone**

17. In the deep of the night, I look over my shoulder, you look so fine

18. Earth to bella, think you've get it all figured here, earth to bella, everything you know is wrong

19. Wag kang mabibigla, isasasama kita, wag kang magtanong, basta sumama ka lang**

20. Are you going to fluxxe? Are you going to fluxxe?**

21. I can't pretend that I don't see this. Its really not your fault but nobody cares to talk about it**

22. Here she comes, coming out of the water, here she comes, coming straight at me**

23. My heart can't take it, coz' you keep breaking it, you keep breaking it, I let my guard down for you**

24. I wouldn't win if I tried to do it all on my own. Stop me before I begin to believe that I can. If the world divides us now, and I'm busy running frightened

25. Kailangan kong isipin kung paano aaminin, pagnakikita kita may kasama ng kaba

26. I cry I slip I fall, reaching for your hands but I lay here all alone, sweating all your blood

27. Pintas nila wag mong aandahin, inggit lang sila sa kaya mong gawin

28. And I wonder, when I sing along with you, if everything will ever be this real forever, if anything can be this good again, the only thing I'd ever ask of you, you gotta promise not to stop when I say when

29. Sana'y masabi, sa awit kong ito, lahat ng ninanais ng itong puso ko**

30. If all else fail, would you be there to love me, When all else fail, would you be brave to see right through me.

Gusto ko magbartender... kahit isang beses lang.
Sa sahod.
Pero hindi ibig sabihin nun ako magbabayad ng drinks nyo.
Utot nyo. Ehehehehe!
Ano game?

Paturo ako tatlong drinks. Stig. Kung may alam kayo, game tayo.
The house is damn lonely these days. ehehehe... kulong kulong lang sa kwarto. Ahahaha!

Nuff said.

Leave a comment and I'll reply by answering the following:

1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal.